Part 1: Divorce in the time of Covid-19 - May 29, 2020

Hello listeners, or readers, I guess. 

Doesn't reading a blog feel like taking a walk down memory lane or something? I know it is an antiquated way to communicate by now. But I have some things I need to write about. So here we are!

As you can probably tell from the title, yes, I'm getting divorced during a worldwide pandemic. Sounds exciting, no? Well it is not boring, that's for damn sure. 

As the world turned upside down a few months ago, so did my family structure and marriage to my husband of 5 years, Paul. Interesting and tragic timing. And also divine timing, I think. 

Someone told me the other day that the Greek root of the word "Apocalypse" means "uncovering." Now, I'm not one of those Apocalyptic fantasy nuts who stocks up on canned goods and watches morbid movies (there is NOTHING wrong with that, btw), but I do believe in energy. When a cypher of energy swirls around and changes the vibrations of the status quo, shit falls apart, change happens, and yes, death happens too. 

A lot of people have died from this virus. Too many. It is heartbreaking and terrifying. The entire world is mourning and shook. Our energy is aligned with the uncertainty of life itself. We are looking down the barrel, so to speak. When the end becomes present, I believe that life responds. 

All of a sudden, relationships fall apart, people get fired and change courses, people die and those who grieve keep going with only what matters most. Revolutions start. Patriarchy falls. Wars begin...

And my guess is that a lot of people are getting divorced. Like. A. LOT. 

The energy shift, which has forced us all to "stay home" has actually placed a burning spotlight on family life. If things were not going that well before the quarantine, let me guarantee you that they are worse now. 

Times like this historically uncover the secrets and broken systems so they can fall away. Everything gets revealed. Things fall apart. It seems like the end. But it really marks a beginning. 

Rebirth! Dust to dust! This is the beautiful cycle of life. This is how we know that if our world "as we knew it" is over, then that world needed to go! It needed to go so that we could change into something better. But dammit, growing pains SUCK. 

The main reasons I am hopeful today and not in total despair as my family plans the move to separate homes during a pandemic:

1. Anti-depressents

2. AA

3. Therapy

4. Tarot

5. My family

6. My friends

7. And my belief that in death there is life. 

We may not stay together as husband and wife. We will have tears and fights. We will inevitably hurt our children, even though that is the last thing on earth we want. We will make mistakes and make up for those mistakes. We just might make a mess of our lives in the process. 

But in the end, something new will be born. A new kind of family, one we create. New opportunities for both of us. And two kids who will see that their parents loved them enough to never burden them with a "What if." 

The greatest burden a child must bear is the unlived life of its parents. -Carl Jung

My hope is that we can unburden our kids. Just a bit. 

Paul and I have decided to live our lives separately. But we will walk together and raise our kids and support each other to chase our dreams and live the most authentic, true lives we can live. 

Hopefully we will become two separate, unique, beautiful and FREE rainbow Butterfly parent humans. 

K, that's a bit much, but I would say our kids are actually pretty lucky.  We are teaching them to face your fears, face the shadows of life, and walk THROUGH the storm.  On the other side, there is rainbow, after all. 

We ain't there yet, people. But it's coming! 

If you are having a hard time right now. If you are a part of the black community in America. If you are grieving a loved one. If you are grieving the end of your marriage. If you are depressed. If you are sick. 

Just remember there is a rainbow. Also, I found 44 four-leaf clovers last week. That's gotta mean something, right? 

Read these and listen to these. 

Books: "Untamed" by Glennon Doyle (I've read it twice!)

"When Things Fall Apart" by Pema Chodron

"Becoming" by Michelle Obama

"I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings" by Maya Angelou

This is my DIVORCE IN THE TIME OF COVID-19 PLAYLIST

Please enjoy it on Spotify! 

 "Somewhere Over the Rainbow"

"Rainbow" by Kacey Musgraves

"You'll never Walk Alone" - Judy

"This Year" by The Mountain Goats

"Into the Unknown" from Frozen

"I Need a Forest Fire" by James Blake

"Everything in its Right Place" by Radiohead

"Summer, Highland Falls" by Billy Joel

"thank you, next" by Ariana Grande

"This is America" by Childish Gambino

"Next Lifetime" by Eryka Badu

"Truth Hurts" by Lizzo

"How do you Sleep" by Sam Smith

"Back in my Body" by Maggie Rogers

"I Say a Little Prayer for You" by Aretha Franklin

"Lean on Me" by Bill Withers

"Love is just a Four Letter Word" cover by Joan Baez

"Don't think twice, It's alright" - Bob Dylan

"Good as Hell" - Lizzo

"Closer to Fine" by The Indigo Girls