The Nap Time Diaries - #1
Shhhh. Simon is napping. I've decided that I would experiment with the exercise of blogging everyday for one week during Simon's nap and just see what happens. I like writing, I almost never do it anymore, and he has just started napping later in the day, so it seems like a good idea.
I am well aware that the term "Mom Blogger" has become some sort of negative cliche. This doesn't surprise me, considering that oftentimes when women want to share the truth of their experience it is somehow pushed aside or unqualified as "womanly nonsense" or "over exaggerated emotional blabber."
Moms' stories are not often told or considered to be important. And I think that is lame. There is nothing worse than telling yourself or anyone else that your story isn't worth hearing. It's worth telling and hearing and validating and celebrating!
So that is what I aim to do. Tell the story of what it is like being a stay-at-home mom who works part-time as a theatre director/singer/teacher and lives in a house in Acton with her husband and two annoying dogs.
I may not be curing cancer, but I still have a place in the symphony of things on this earth.
Today I woke up at 6:30am, which is pretty standard really. Simon was cooing and hollering in his crib, letting me know it was time to come get him, bring him to our bed, and nurse him. This is our morning ritual. I took a second to breathe and say a little prayer to start my day.
Paul and I rolled over and looked at each other with sleepy eyes. "I'll get him," I moaned. "I have to pee anyway." We took about five seconds to hug each other before our entire day became consumed with the needs of our child, and then I hurled myself out of bed.
Simon is one. His birthday was last week, and I have finally started processing what that means. It means that: 1) The three of us survived this year. 2) He is not a little baby anymore . 3) He will never be a little baby again. 4) I definitely want another child.
You could have asked me 3 weeks a go if I wanted another baby and I would have said, not for a while, PLEASE!!! I need my body back! I need my boobs to myself for a few seconds! I need to be JUST ME for a minute.
But facing the inevitable rapid growth of my precious baby boy has made me realize that there is no other time for having children. THIS is the time! THIS is a completely unique time in my life. There is no other experience that so intensely calls on me to live in the moment. You have to stop and look and listen because in an instant, everything about your child has changed!
Babies force you to WAKE UP! Literally.
So as I go to pick up my gorgeous, hollering baby out of his crib at 6:30am, these are all the thoughts and emotions that go through my head all at once.
"Good morning, Bubba!" I say. Simon bounces and giggles and holds on to the top of the crib crying, "Nur-Nur! Nur-Nur!"
I fold him into the covers of our bed and tuck his head under my arm. He is big enough now to pull my shirt down and start feeding himself at the breast. As the moment comes closer he starts laughing in delight! This is maybe one of our favorite times of the day, the morning nursing sesh.
I close my eyes and lay there and think that maybe it's time to start to ween him, and maybe if I did, I could go to the gym in the mornings or meditate instead of nurse and I would get back in shape and have more confidence and my mental health might be a bit better and he would be more independent, blah blah blah, and STOP.
I open my eyes and he looks up at me and smiles. A bit of milk trickles out of the corner of his little, perfect mouth.
"I love you." I say. And all of a sudden, I'm back in the present moment.
Simon wakes me up several times a day to love, to laughter, and to the joy of living. What a gift it is to be a mom.
And what a gift it is when they take a nap!
I am well aware that the term "Mom Blogger" has become some sort of negative cliche. This doesn't surprise me, considering that oftentimes when women want to share the truth of their experience it is somehow pushed aside or unqualified as "womanly nonsense" or "over exaggerated emotional blabber."
Moms' stories are not often told or considered to be important. And I think that is lame. There is nothing worse than telling yourself or anyone else that your story isn't worth hearing. It's worth telling and hearing and validating and celebrating!
So that is what I aim to do. Tell the story of what it is like being a stay-at-home mom who works part-time as a theatre director/singer/teacher and lives in a house in Acton with her husband and two annoying dogs.
I may not be curing cancer, but I still have a place in the symphony of things on this earth.
Today I woke up at 6:30am, which is pretty standard really. Simon was cooing and hollering in his crib, letting me know it was time to come get him, bring him to our bed, and nurse him. This is our morning ritual. I took a second to breathe and say a little prayer to start my day.
Paul and I rolled over and looked at each other with sleepy eyes. "I'll get him," I moaned. "I have to pee anyway." We took about five seconds to hug each other before our entire day became consumed with the needs of our child, and then I hurled myself out of bed.
Simon is one. His birthday was last week, and I have finally started processing what that means. It means that: 1) The three of us survived this year. 2) He is not a little baby anymore . 3) He will never be a little baby again. 4) I definitely want another child.
You could have asked me 3 weeks a go if I wanted another baby and I would have said, not for a while, PLEASE!!! I need my body back! I need my boobs to myself for a few seconds! I need to be JUST ME for a minute.
But facing the inevitable rapid growth of my precious baby boy has made me realize that there is no other time for having children. THIS is the time! THIS is a completely unique time in my life. There is no other experience that so intensely calls on me to live in the moment. You have to stop and look and listen because in an instant, everything about your child has changed!
Babies force you to WAKE UP! Literally.
So as I go to pick up my gorgeous, hollering baby out of his crib at 6:30am, these are all the thoughts and emotions that go through my head all at once.
"Good morning, Bubba!" I say. Simon bounces and giggles and holds on to the top of the crib crying, "Nur-Nur! Nur-Nur!"
I fold him into the covers of our bed and tuck his head under my arm. He is big enough now to pull my shirt down and start feeding himself at the breast. As the moment comes closer he starts laughing in delight! This is maybe one of our favorite times of the day, the morning nursing sesh.
I close my eyes and lay there and think that maybe it's time to start to ween him, and maybe if I did, I could go to the gym in the mornings or meditate instead of nurse and I would get back in shape and have more confidence and my mental health might be a bit better and he would be more independent, blah blah blah, and STOP.
I open my eyes and he looks up at me and smiles. A bit of milk trickles out of the corner of his little, perfect mouth.
"I love you." I say. And all of a sudden, I'm back in the present moment.
Simon wakes me up several times a day to love, to laughter, and to the joy of living. What a gift it is to be a mom.
And what a gift it is when they take a nap!
Love this. Love you.
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