Who's the Boss?

Hey world,

I just had a thought a few days ago that I think is worth sharing. I'm a new parent, and as I navigate the never-ending barrage of articles, books, research and friendly advice on how to raise my child, I often feel overwhelmed.

To feed solids early, or wait. To breastfeed, or not. To sleep train, or co-sleep. To put on the TV or ban screen time all together.

I have complete decision fatigue! How and when am I supposed to do absolutely anything concerning my baby? Scientists, doctors, friends and mom bloggers are quick to tell me all the ways in which my decision will negatively or positively effect his future. These people are wise! They have experience and scientific knowledge. They know best!

But who's the boss? Who is going to tell me what to do? Who is going to raise my child?

Well, I had an epiphany. IT'S ME! (and his father, Paul.) WE are the Bosses!

We get to do whatever the fuck we want!

We can feed him ice cream all day and have him sleep in our beds all night. Or not sleep if we want to. We can raise a freaking wild monkey if we want to! Or we can follow as many strict, scientific guidelines that we want.

The point is, we get to decide. We are the parents. The buck stops here.

There is an amazing freedom in that! I feel like shouting it from the rooftops!

"Hey world, I am Simon's mommie, and I'M THE BOSS!"

No one else is coming around raise my kid. So I better stop looking for someone else's opinion. Raising him is no one's responsibility but my own and Paul's. And we have choices! We have freedom!

I guess in an online world of sharing information, there is advice overload. I can find an article to support every parenting philosophy under the sun. But the more I read sometimes, the more my confidence in my own instincts as a mom get shaken. Yes, there are times when a book or blog is a saving grace! But sometimes these tools and philosophies can derail the natural rhythm and knowing that I have with my son as his mother.

There is no better source of information on how to raise your baby than your OWN BABY. When I pay attention to him and love him and learn his cues and his coos, I believe I am raising him right. And I am learning how to follow my own God-given instincts as a mother. Everything I need to know is inside. I truly believe that. I trust my gut, my god, myself, and most importantly - my kid.

Parenting fads come and go. They are based on nothing and everything, and I do not know what is right or wrong. I'm sure that there is a benefit to following these systems, and for some parents that is the saving grace. But for me, and the kind of person I am, trying to fit into a system or scientific model has never quite worked. I like to be free. And I like to embrace the moment as it is!

This fleeting moment where Simon is 5 months old and I am his mommy? This moment will be gone in a flash. And being present, confident and loving is about the best I can do.

Lately, when Simon wakes up at around 3am, I go to his room, lift his little body up and out of the crib in the dark and snuggle into our rocking chair. He nurses and I stroke his head and rub his back. When he falls asleep, I hold him in my arms and rock for a little while and feel this indescribable peace. He sighs.

My baby trusts me, and I trust him. We are letting each other know what is best, moment to moment. We are listening and learning.

Are we sleeping through the night? No. But I'm the boss, and I say we don't have to. :)


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