Fitting into "the dress"
Hello blog readers,
As you may or may not know, I will be walking down the aisle to marry the most wonderful man I have ever met in about 9 days. Yes, I'm getting married! Hitched. Committed. Loved. It's wonderful.
As the day approaches, my mind is spinning with all kinds of over the top thoughts. These dramatic plot lines kept me up until 3am last night. So I figured I needed to spew a bit. I mean hell, I'm going through one of the most intense rites of passage we have left in this culture! I'm stepping over the broom into official adulthood. I don't know where I've been the last ten years, but it definitely did not seem like an adult world. It was like practice. Well, the rehearsals are over, and the big show is really soon!
So what are some the dramatic thoughts I go through?
1. My youth is over.
2. I will never be skinny again.
3. I will never be wild and promiscuous ever again.
4. I'm going to become a wife!
5. I'm going to become a mother!
6. My choices affect other people now.
7. I've been waiting for this my whole life, and it feels pretty normal. And wonderful.
8. Am I too chubby to be a bride?
Unfortunately for my ego, it's the last question that is sort of taking up the most headspace at the moment. Afterall, I've seen so many friends and family members shrink down to beautiful little minis on their Wedding days. Everyone seems to go mad with the exercise and dieting to fit into that perfect dress and look like that perfect bride and be that perfect wife!
Here's the kicker, I CAN'T DO IT!
My entire heart, body and soul is overwhelmed with the amount of change I am experiencing at the moment. Everyday is an adjustment that takes energy - I am literally transitioning from one phase of life to the other!!!! It takes a lot out of me! And I'm expected to change my body too? I'm expected to change my look, to fit into some industry standard of what a bride should be? I'm expected to change my entire diet?
Or evern worse STOP EATING CHOCOLATE? How DARE
you!
This is one of the only things in life that almost ALL WOMEN share. At some point in their lives, they will be a bride. All shapes, sizes, races and styles of women will get married. And yet in America, we are all pressured to look the same while we do it. To fit into this model bride stereotype. The one in magazines. The thin one. The beautiful one. But why?
Wouldn't this mean that we needed to be all the same in order to nab a man in the first place? Wouldn't that mean that only skinny girls get the guy. And all guys like the same kind of women? Only thin women acheive happiness and marital bliss. Only size 0-4 measure up when it comes to Bridal wear.
What a load of bullshit! I nabbed my husband-to-be with all the butt and boobs and belly and jelly that I have working right now, and he LOVES me. Loves every curve, every inch, every roll, and every line. To him, I am the woman he always wanted. Not a different version of me.
JUST ME.
So I have to remember, and I hope that every bride remembers this as she prepares for her wedding: He wanted to marry YOU. So be YOU! He didn't want to marry a better version of you, or a more perfect model of you. It was just YOU.
The perfectness of being imperfect. That is what you experience and enjoy when you are in love. And that is what you should enjoy on your wedding day too. Afterall, it's a celebration of your relationship and the years to come! Not a celebration of how perfect you are. BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT!!!!
Imperfect people get married everyday. Some make it work, some don't. But I bet you anything it has nothing to do with how well the bride fit into her perfect dress! Or how many pounds she lost before the big day.
So here's to the brides! All the brides - the skinny-minis and the chubby-wubbys and everyone in between! WE have the right to be happy, the right to walk down the aisle, and the right to eat CAKE. WHENEVER WE WANT!
XOXOX
the soon to be Mrs. Weber
As you may or may not know, I will be walking down the aisle to marry the most wonderful man I have ever met in about 9 days. Yes, I'm getting married! Hitched. Committed. Loved. It's wonderful.
As the day approaches, my mind is spinning with all kinds of over the top thoughts. These dramatic plot lines kept me up until 3am last night. So I figured I needed to spew a bit. I mean hell, I'm going through one of the most intense rites of passage we have left in this culture! I'm stepping over the broom into official adulthood. I don't know where I've been the last ten years, but it definitely did not seem like an adult world. It was like practice. Well, the rehearsals are over, and the big show is really soon!
So what are some the dramatic thoughts I go through?
1. My youth is over.
2. I will never be skinny again.
3. I will never be wild and promiscuous ever again.
4. I'm going to become a wife!
5. I'm going to become a mother!
6. My choices affect other people now.
7. I've been waiting for this my whole life, and it feels pretty normal. And wonderful.
8. Am I too chubby to be a bride?
Unfortunately for my ego, it's the last question that is sort of taking up the most headspace at the moment. Afterall, I've seen so many friends and family members shrink down to beautiful little minis on their Wedding days. Everyone seems to go mad with the exercise and dieting to fit into that perfect dress and look like that perfect bride and be that perfect wife!
Here's the kicker, I CAN'T DO IT!
My entire heart, body and soul is overwhelmed with the amount of change I am experiencing at the moment. Everyday is an adjustment that takes energy - I am literally transitioning from one phase of life to the other!!!! It takes a lot out of me! And I'm expected to change my body too? I'm expected to change my look, to fit into some industry standard of what a bride should be? I'm expected to change my entire diet?
Or evern worse STOP EATING CHOCOLATE? How DARE
you!
Wouldn't this mean that we needed to be all the same in order to nab a man in the first place? Wouldn't that mean that only skinny girls get the guy. And all guys like the same kind of women? Only thin women acheive happiness and marital bliss. Only size 0-4 measure up when it comes to Bridal wear.
What a load of bullshit! I nabbed my husband-to-be with all the butt and boobs and belly and jelly that I have working right now, and he LOVES me. Loves every curve, every inch, every roll, and every line. To him, I am the woman he always wanted. Not a different version of me.
JUST ME.
So I have to remember, and I hope that every bride remembers this as she prepares for her wedding: He wanted to marry YOU. So be YOU! He didn't want to marry a better version of you, or a more perfect model of you. It was just YOU.
The perfectness of being imperfect. That is what you experience and enjoy when you are in love. And that is what you should enjoy on your wedding day too. Afterall, it's a celebration of your relationship and the years to come! Not a celebration of how perfect you are. BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT!!!!
Imperfect people get married everyday. Some make it work, some don't. But I bet you anything it has nothing to do with how well the bride fit into her perfect dress! Or how many pounds she lost before the big day.
So here's to the brides! All the brides - the skinny-minis and the chubby-wubbys and everyone in between! WE have the right to be happy, the right to walk down the aisle, and the right to eat CAKE. WHENEVER WE WANT!
XOXOX
the soon to be Mrs. Weber
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