Stumbling upon true love on an ordinary day.

Woooooah. I haven't blogged in a stone's age. It's not that I haven't had anything to say. I guess I've just been living my life on about a 10 and not taking much time to sit back and reflect or spew any sort of words on the current state of affairs.

I started this blog a few years back when I decided to pack up my life and move to California to follow my dreams. So it's cool to write an entry when I'm back here in California for a month, living my dreams. A lot has changed and grown within me since I started on this journey. Lately I've felt less of a need to talk about it, because I'm already so engaged in it. It has just become my life, and doesn't take as much effort to keep it going. It just is.

Tomorrow I head to the theatre with about 45 kids who I have been teaching and mentoring for the last 3 weeks at Adderley musical theatre camp. We will perform the musical theatre workshops we have sweated over day after day for all the parents and friends who support us. I know it's going to be a big day for us. It's exciting.

I feel really lucky tonight. Lucky that I have sustained a life long love affair with music and theatre. To have something enrgrained in my heart and soul, that drives me to my core, that has never left me and continues to inspire me every day is...such a gift! It's something I can only really discribe to other people who know what I mean.

I was sitting down with an old friend tonight who has been playing music professionally since he was in 7th grade. So I guess he's been a musican now for about 50 years. He just gets it. Music to him is still just as important as the air he breathes. It is his reason for walking the planet. And I get that. I have been singing and performing on stage since I was 4 years old. And it's still everything to me. It literally never gets old.

Yeah, certain aspects of it get old. Certain things that come with the territory can begin to feel like work sometimes. But in general, I feel this overwhelming amount of love and passion inside me for what I do. Holy shit, that's awesome.

Anyone who has read my blog knows that sometimes I feel down and out about being single. The fact that I haven't met my "soul mate" or settled down into a comitted relationship with a man yet can sometimes make me feel like a loser, or that I must be lost or something. But days like today, and most of my days in the last few years remind me that I have something very special. Something wonderful that FILLS me with love and joy. Something that gives me worth and inspires me to get up in the morning.
Playing Amy in "Company" singing "Getting Married Today"


It's my life's work.

Yes, it would be great to share the day to day with somebody else in an intimate way. And I celebrate people who have that kind of relationship in their life. But I can't ever say, EVER AGAIN, that I don't have true love. I have it in spades!

I truly love what I do. I always have. And I know men who have dated me have sometimes felt like they came second to that passion. And maybe they did. But I also know that my love for music and theater pours out onto other people around me, and makes them feel love. I see the passion I have for it reflected in their faces when they sing with me, or when I direct them in a show, or when I sing for an audience. I am actually surrounded by love when I am enganged in my art. I get asked to sing at Weddings, and I'll be singing in my baby brother's wedding in a few weeks. Then at my dear friend's wedding in England the next week. I think they asked me because they wanted to experience the love I have to share through music on their wedding day. That makes me feel so good. That I can offer that. That I can love them in that way.

Love. is. actually. all around.  To quote my favorite cheesy British holiday movie.

So to sum up. I feel in love with my life and my work. I feel whole. I feel engaged. I feel useful and happy. So what could be better? Whether it's in a marriage, or at work, or wherever!!! To feel filled with love is the state I want to be in at the end of the day.

So find your bliss - in a person or with God or at work or in the woods. But just find it. And don't ever let it go!



Popular Posts