Too many hats, not enough heads.

Too many hats.

That's what I feel like I'm wearing sometimes! I have my singer/songwriter hat, my voice teacher hat, my Adderley School Admin director hat, my High School musical director hat, my sober hat, my actor/singer hat, my auntie fran hat, my friend hat, my back up singer in a band hat, my small business owner hat, my single and looking for love hat, and my family hat.

too many hats and not enough heads. 

Sometimes my head spins out of orbit and the hats go flying all around and I put the wrong hats on the wrong heads and everything gets all mixed up.

Sometimes I wish I didn't have to wear certain hats, so that I could go all the way into one role and forget about my responsibility to the other! Like if I was only an artist, I could swear up and down the streets and talk about my love life and struggles and such with wild abandon! But the teacher hat doesn't dig that so much. It frowns a little on that behavior.

I guess the the good thing is that in general, I am the same person through all of these hat scenarios. The same heart and soul tries on the different roles throughout the day. And it wasn't always like that. I used to sort of morph who I was for different people and different situations - and although I know I do a bit of that now - I can safely say that I am genuinely engaged in what I am doing. I show up to each part of my life as just me. With a different hat on.

The thing is, sometimes you grow out of old hats. They start looking kind of dumb, or they just don't match your style anymore. You end up retiring the hat all together. It can be sort of painful and sad. I've had to say goodbye to some hats that didn't fit me anymore recently, and I'm adjusting to what it feels like to not wear them.

It feels good. And different! The less I have to balance on top of my head the better - and when a certain hat becomes too heavy to carry, it starts to throw the whole scene out of whack! It's better to set it aside for awhile.

And who knows! I've found old hats and garments from ancient days that I haven't worn in years and when I revisit them, they fit like a glove. That's the beauty of a good hat. You can always return to it.

Well, I think I've milked this metaphor for all it's worth! I've actually beaten it to death. But what can I say...

I can wear the shit out of a fedora!


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