No Coffee? No. coffee. NO COFFEE!!!!!!

Good morning, morning.

I'm in mourning.

I am feeling the loss of a dear, dear friend. Coffee.

If any of you have read my blog over the years, you know I love it. There have been blogs about it. I have always been very grateful for it. And I most likely am completely addicted to it.

Now, all of you with a cup of Joe in your hands right now are going, what's the problem? It's still here, have a delicious cup! It's easy. And so good. Yes, it is. And eff off!

I have recently been instructed by a highly respected and awesome Chinese doctor (who I believe knows the force) that if I want to heal my immune system and stop getting sick all the time (thanks snotty kids at my school) I need to cleanse my diet. That means, yup!

No. Coffee.

"If I can't take my coffee break, something within me DIES."

I ON THE OTHER HAND DO NOT FEEL LIKE SINGING AND DANCING ABOUT IT.

This is hard. I haven't had coffee since Saturday morning. I've got the headaches, I've got the cravings, I've got the crabbies. And to be honest, rather than making me really want a cup of coffee right now (which I do), it more strongly freaks me out.

Am I really that addicted to this stuff? And what are the health benefits or risks of drinking multiple cups of it a day? I don't think it's actually that good for you. And I'm realizing for SURE, that caffeine is a drug. And it's one we all accept and love and partake in.

I wonder if a few years down the road coffee will turn into another 'substance' that people abuse and go to 12 step programs to recover from. Will the coffee drinking age be 18? It probably should be if it 'stunts your growth.' And isn't that a terrifying concept.

What is this brown liquid that I have completely worshipped and consumed everyday for the past 10 years at least!??

I fell in love with coffee in the most addictive way when I was a Starbucks barista after college. The starbucks culture actually demands that you become a coffee-head and know everything about the different kinds of beans and flavors etc. We also got 'employee drinks.' Which means we drank coffee our entire 8 hour shift. I would be so jacked and tired after my shift at Starbucks that I HAD to smoke a joint. ... kidding. sort of. Well, that habit I did away with a while ago, but the coffee has stuck with me.

And apparently it has stuck to my kidneys and my stomach and actually harmed my health - and my energy levels and immune system. Who knew!!!!

I feel a little betrayed, Coffee. I thought we were buddies. You were my comfort, my pick me up! If I was down - a little bit of you always did the trick. You grounded my mornings with our little ritual. You capped off my meals in a sophisticated and delicious, euro way. And now, you have hurt my insides.

Well, I guess its that old rule - everything in moderation. But if you cannot moderate your intake of coffee and caffeine, I guess the answer is to detox off the shit until you can again. So here I am, in detox. And it blows.

I've been drinking juice and water and tea. And I'm sorry, Coffee, but I do actually already feel better. Randomly, my energy is more steady throughout the day. I don't feel a crash. I feel....sort of good. Despite the cravings.

So the great experiment continues. Will my divorce from my beloved coffee actually increase the quality of my life???

To be continued...