I pray to Janis Joplin

Good morning folks,

It's 9:40 on a Thursday. I thought I'd blog. Not quite sure what I have to say.

First thing I will say is that the level of attractiveness in this Starbucks is staggering. Holy shit there are attractive people in LA. It's just the facts. I have chosen to enjoy it. And so I do.

Also - the general banter of said attractive people - usually not that smart. Just sayin. But they're nice to look at.

I have a full day today of demo getting readiness. Our studio time is only a month away and I want to make sure I am ready, and kick ass, and confident as hell. Which means I just need to play and sing my songs all the time. So today, I have time to do this. Amen.

Also, I got a random call yesterday to come in and audition for a 'Know your Lyrics' game show. I have no idea why, but you better believe I'm gonna go audition and put all these useless lyrics swimming around in my head to use! Maybe I'll win? ... right, God?

The only real insight I have to share today is something I heard last night. A friend was talking about different ways she has viewed/talked to 'God' in the past. I doubt that when any of us ever talk to the Universe, or God, or little baby Jesus that we are imagining the same thing. Most likely we do not imagine a man in a cloud with a long white beard. If you do, awesome! Keep it up, hope it works! But all of us relate to this higher power differently - and I'm sure a lot of us do not think about it or talk to it or believe in it at all. But, I was noticing yesterday that often when I 'talk to God' I am very polite. I feel like I almost have to talk in my business phone voice or something. I see this power as very serene, a part of everything, calm, all-knowing - and to be honest - sometimes that is not what I need. It's like my limited imagination of what God is just isn't cutting it. I watched "Talladega Nights" the other night. By far, this is the best scene in the movie:

I love that the all-powerful God that Ricky Bobby needed to pray to is little baby Jesus in a crib. Hilarious. When you believe yourself to be all-powerful and awesome, you don't have much need for a powerful awesome God. But that is what worked for him - that's the Jesus he liked.

But yesterday, I was having a hard time with a situation. I was obsessed with it and sort of freaking out and I could not calm my mind down. I felt hurt, pissed off, ect. I was in a bad spot and knew I needed help. Because I no longer drink a glass of wine when I feel this way - I wasn't quite sure what to do. I prayed. It didn't work. I prayed again...nope, nothing. I did some other things like talk to a few friends...still no relief. I guess I felt like - what does this omnipresent, chilled out energy that I think God is care about my petty problems, and even worse, what could it possibly do about it. My faith was sort of nill because my perception of what God was ---- sucked.

So anyway, I heard the best thing ever last night. It completely turned it all around for me. A friend said to me, "Sometimes my God is...


BOOM! My faith was back in that very moment. YES! Janis Joplin! Yes. Now, don't take this literally. I don't mean that the spirit of Janis is actually my God. I mean that the face and the voice and the general feel of my higher power at that moment became Janis fucking Joplin. And all of a sudden, I felt fine. It's like - if the power greater than myself - can wail like that, and kick ass like that, I have total faith in it!!!!!! I know it sounds childish and funny and weird. But at this time in my life, I am attracted to whatever works. Whatever keeps me humble, sober, and connected to God is what I"m into. And sometimes I need to imagine God as this wild, free, screaming, banchee - who loves the shit out of me and would do anything to keep me around. I want God to sing this to me:

"You know I'll always be around, if you ever want babe, come on and
CRY, CRY baby! CRY BABY! CRY BABY! Welcome back home"

(PS. if you don't have the album, Pearl, by Janis Joplin, this is were you buy it.)

Today, my 'God', wants me around, will let me cry, and will always be there, fighting for me. . I will never limit God to this little baby meditating Buddha sitting on a flower again. Sometimes I need that. But sometimes I need banchee, screaming, co-dependent Janis Joplin God. And you know, whether you believe in God or not, if there is a power outside of yourself that compels you to be good and loving to yourself and others, stick with that. It could be a freaking Snickers bar for all I care! Just find something that compels you to not hurt yourself and others. Something that makes you feel cared for and protected. Something that calls the best you forward. Imaginary or real. It doesn't matter. When I find something that is more powerful and amazing than myself, I have a shot at living above my own selfish, human, flawed potential. This 'something' saves my life. And whatever it is, it works.

For me, today. It's this lady:


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