Cupcakes and french fries!
Good morning young lovers,
How are ye? I'm doing very well today. I thought I'd blog.
I had an awesome night last night. It was one of those unexpected, spontaneous nights - the kind you have when you're in a foreign country and you literally have NOTHING to do but go with the flow and see where you end up. It's funny, because in the old days, these nights that have become some of the most legendary and hilarious nights in my life ALWAYS included a lot of alcohol. And to be honest, sometimes looking back I realize that I had put myself in a lot of danger. But I used to LIVE for 'nights for the books.' That was my escape. It was like randomly stepping out of the day to day and stepping into a movie that lasts about 12 hours. Then it's over. You wake up. You brush your teeth. And you go about your normal life. All you have to show for it is a really great story. The friends, or men, or even grand ideas from the evening never lasted. But the story did. And that was usually the best part.
Well, it's funny, because yesterday I was mourning my old crazy self a little bit. I thought, is sober Fran destined for a life without adventure? How am I ever supposed to reconnect with spontaneous, outrageous, fun, crazy Fran if I don't drink or smoke weed? How? I just felt like maybe that part just doesn't exist anymore. And it felt sad. It's so funny how life works, because the Universe answered me loud and clear. The same day I had the fear, God said, "Nope! Sorry! But you will have adventure and crazy laughter and fun and spontaneity in your life! Deal with it!" haha. I love when stuff like that happens.
I had met this amazing lady my age from London a few days ago. She is part of a spiritual group I attend. We saw each other again last night and decided to get coffee with two other guys after our meeting. It was not supposed to be anything but a little extension of the meeting. Just hang out a little bit. But it really surprised me.
First of all, being around an English person always makes me happy. The time I spent in England in college is still one of the funnest times in my life and the friends I made there stick to my ribs, I love them so much. The sense of humor is PERFECTION. It always has been the exact right fit for my type of sarcasm and self-deprecation.
So we hit it off straight away. Plus, she is in travel mode. Which is the best mode ever. Travel mode is when you are seeking new experiences, new friends, new new new. You're up for literally anything. So she was getting me in the mode. And then, all the four of us did was sit at my favorite diner in LA, Swingers, and talk.
That was it.
But we laughed our asses off! I mean, it was just gelling. One of the guys is from Tennessee, has the most amazing accent, perfect comedic timing, and an incredible story! The other guy is from Beverly Hills and sings in an amazing rock band and has cool hair and is wild! We ate fries and cupcakes and laughed. It was a moment. We talked serious too. That's when you know it's a good night. One second you're pissing in your pants and the next you're talking about the real deal!
Well, so rocker guy says, let's go down to my studio on Hollywood & Vine and jam! My English friend takes one second, maybe half a second to consider, "YES YES YES!" Let's do that!
(Side note. Remember when I first moved to LA and my motto in life was to say 'YES'? I sort of started slacking on that. This night reminded me how rewarding it can be. )
My instinct was to say no. Go home. And watch old episodes of "Weeds" on my computer by myself. But I ignored my instinct, and said, LET'S DO IT!
And we JAMMED. We laughed more. The guy played the most amazing guitar and the gal and my voices blended perfectly! I'm usually so shy about making stuff up in front of people, but I just let it go. We made up songs about California guys and traveling. We just made sounds too. It was just the experience of putting noise out in a carpeted room together with strangers and making music! It was an amazing feeling.
I am learning to embrace life on life's terms. And learning that life is actually effing awesome if you just LET IT BE. All this drinking and wishing and hoping and plan making and worrying and drama-creating just sucks the joy out of life. Fear that you or life won't be enough, ruins it! As I'm learning to accept myself just the way I am, without help from a substance, I'm learning that life is amazing - just as it is. These experiences are presenting themselves always. I can either say yes to them, or retreat in fear. Believing in myself and feeling in my bones that I'm connected to the ground - something solid- has given me great freedom to experience the random in a whole new way! A more fun way. I didn't wake up with a hangover today.
I woke up laughing.