I can't say thank you to thank you enough.

Good morning loves,

I just wanted to say hi. I wish I blogged more. I really love doing it. I guess my routine has been weird lately. It's hard to get back on track sometimes. I will say this. I know it's a theme that runs through the blog. I've talked about it a lot. But I basically talk about it because it is changing my life in the most awesome way. I'm talking about Gratitude.

I'm talking about saying Thanks. Like that song by Alanis MOrrisette: Thank you India, thank you terror, thank you disillusionment. Thank you nothingness, than you consequence, thank you thank you silence.

I love it! I had a horrible morning yesterday. Woke up hating. A lot of things. I was paralyzed with fear, resentment, anxiety, you name it. I could not get my feet on the floor and out of bed. It was bad! You know sometimes life is scary. And when my mind starts obsessing over decisions and consequences and changes and character defects - I freeze. There is nowhere to go. There is nothing to do but cry. Maybe I'm alone in my experience, but I'm sorta gonna go out on a limb here and guess that a few of you have felt this way as well. Yup!

Anyway, I called a few friends to get out of my crazy head. They helped me get dressed, get going, and get over it. One of them suggested thinking about all the things I'm grateful for. No, actually writing it out. I thought that was a pretty good idea.

Well I went about my day without making the list but keeping an eye out for good things. A nice sip of coffee here. A funny moment there. A cute guy over yonder. My day started brightening.

When I got in my bed I took out a sheet of paper and started to write my Gratitude list. It was funny because usually I write these things like they are an assignment. A structured, neat, numbered list. I put pressure on myself to get to the high digits. But this time, I went free form. I scribbled and doodled and did different lettering and basically made an art project out of the things I was grateful for. And the page filled up. It was amazing and beautiful. I realized that all of the things I was worrying over or trying to control in the morning were things that I was actually grateful for.

I had a very clear choice to make. I could either enjoy the life I had. Or I could freaking wine and worry and bitch and control and resist. I could say 'THANK YOU.' or I could say 'NO THANK YOU.'

This is something we can do everyday. I'm starting to realize that almost everything comes down to this simple practice. Are we grateful for what we have or are we resisting our reality? Are we in acceptance, or are we whiny mother-effers desiring more, more, more?

The next time I want to bitch about a friend or a family member, I hope that I take a second to be grateful they are in my life, grateful they are alive! NOTHING is worth going to sleep at night pissed over. Everyone deserves love and forgiveness every second of the day. I know that sounds really general and what about Hitler, blah blah blah. But I'm pretty sure if he had more gratitude and love in his life - the entire world would be a different place today.

Do not underestimate the MIRACLE of being being grateful. It really changed my stupid ass wanna punch something and give up on life day.

On a completely random note. Someone from my highschool who I maybe talked to once or twice contacted me the other week about a synchronisity. He had posted on his facebook a phrase: Thank you universe. Thank you everything. A few friends poked fun and talked about Alanis's song, etc. He was curious who else might have said this and put the quote in a google search and guess what came up. MY FREAKING BLOG.