Love and music and a harsh dose of reality

Hello you,

How are you today? I'm doing well. I have a tee shirt on today that says "I think I love you".

And I think I do. I love you. Just wanted you to know that. haha.

So all family have left the Los Angeles area, and it's back to business.

First things's first. If you are in LA on December 12. Come to my show at Room 5 at 9pm and SPREAD THE WORD. Here is the poster - designed by my friend Scott McCullough:

It's gonna be a great night for love!

Alsoooooo listen to Women of Substance Radio every Wednesday in December from 4 - 5 PM Pacific time (7-8 pm Eastern). My song "Break My Heart" is being included in the hour long Acoustic show. I think I am 7th in the lineup! Click here to listen to the show this week or any week this month!!! Isn't that freaking cool? I think it rocks.

So I'm excited to get back into the swing of things here. I've got some cool collaborations going on this week with other talented musicians. I really am looking forward to writing with and working with people who inspire me - is there anything better than that?

Also - I have 50 days of sobriety today. It is really intense and not easy. I could not have anticipated how hard this would be. But you know what - I feel calmer and more centered - less frantic and up and down - than I have felt in years. It is a terrifying thing and beautiful thing to accept the fact that 'this' is a good as it gets. There is no 'high' to look forward to later today. There is no moment when I'm going to have a drink in my system and all worries are going to fall away. Life is not always easy and I am having to learn a brand new way to deal with that. I use to just have a drink and a laugh- many drinks, actually. My solution to my problems caused more problems. I'm finding a new solution - but let me tell you, old habits die hard. I am in withdrawal from the ease of forgetting - the joy of escape. I am trudging through moments and awkwardness that I used to lubricate with substances. It is a bitch! But you know what - I believe it is worth it. My life and my safety and my career are all worth it. This is the hardest thing I have ever done in my life - but I think it is the beginning of a whole new, amazing chapter. What will life look like when you are not always escaping reality and responsibility? Who the eff knows! But I'm excited to find out and I'm taking it day by day.

So that is the update for December 1, 2009. All things go. All things slow. All things in the flow.

I'm starting a new daily part of the blog today. I'm doing away with the cheesy quote at the end. At least for now. I'm keeping the song of the day and adding a list of 5 things I'm grateful for TODAY. Why not keep the spirit of Thanksgiving going for a while. It's a good practice and not that hard.

"It's Beginning to Look a lot Like Christmas" - Bing Crosby

Thank you for:

1. hot chocolate with marshmallows

2. Christmas music

3. my family

4. sunshiny days in Los Angeles

5. The feeling of my guitar vibrating against my chest