Getting some Radio action

Good Morning!

It's a great day! I accidentally put too much cream in my iced coffee and I'm loving it!

So I have some sweet news to share. My song "Break My Heart" has been picked up for rotation on "Women of Substance Radio"! This station streams from your computer and plays a lot of awesome female singer/songwriters. According to the station, 'Women of Substance' are "female performers who deliver high quality music that speaks to the listener through vocal excellence, depth of character and emotion, and lyrics that leave a lasting impression." I guess I am one of those women. YIPPPEEEE! So far, the song will just be in regular rotation, so you would literally have to be listening all day to hear it, but there is a possibility it will be chosen for a specific show - and in that case - I will let you all know when to tune in. I'm excited that 'Break My Heart' is going to get some exposure! I think it's a really great song.

I had such a funny experience last night when I got the e-mail about this. I was shocked at first! One of my submissions actually got selected? That is nuts! That's 1 out of 5! Not bad. I was like fuck yes! So happy! Couldn't stop smiling. Then I looked at the website and went to the streaming page, my excitement got downsized a little just by the look of the site - don't ask me why. Then I started to re-read the selection e-mail and realized that I wouldn't know when the song was playing - which made me think it was probably just a ploy to get more people to listen to the station. Again, excitement downsized. Then I realized that the station is basically a glorified podcast and who listens to those anyway and this is really not a big deal and no one is going to care and my songs are shitty anyway so no point in being excited and you get the picture! All of a sudden, I am down. Not excited. Not proud. Not grateful. My insecurity and perfectionism robbed me of joy in a moment that could have been purely satisfactory. Has my song ever been played on a radio station before? NO. Should I be happy and grateful for this opportunity? YES. Do I have any idea what will come out of the experience? NO. So why not just say THANKS!

We NEVER know if the next person we meet is going to completely change our lives, or if the drive to the store will be our last, or if a little play time on a dinky radio station is going to make our career blow up. Who might be listening? We don't know. We just don't know. So when we pretend we do - when we create a fantasy future for ourselves based on fear - we think it makes us feel safe. We think it takes the danger and vulnerability out of situations - but all of that stuff is still there. All we are deleting from life is joy. There is joy in the steam coming off of your cup of tea for gosh sakes! Why couldn't there be joy in a little career step like this? I am realizing that if I do not take delight in the smallest things - in breathing, in a moment with a friend, in the first airplay for a song - there is no chance in hell I'm going to enjoy things when I am REALLY successful. It's so funny. We think that when we are truly at the top of our career - then we'll enjoy it. Or when we have a family. Or when we are in love. Then life will be REALLY good. But what we don't realize is that it is going to be EXACTLY like it is now. If we are ungrateful and miserable now - chances are we will be then. If we are such perfectionists that nothing is ever enough for us - chances are the same will be true then. I was joking with a friend about possibly getting a chance to sing at Carnegie Hall some day. She said, "Yeah, what are you gonna say once you get there? This carpet isn't clean! How come the last row isn't full? My PR wasn't good enough. Actually, this experience sucks." You would hope that you would be pissing yourself with excitement and gratitude! But if you have decided that no one cares about you, that everything you create is mediocre, and that life sucks - that is the experience you will always have - no matter what! Just look at the insanely famous people who hated themselves and ended up committing suicide. People would say they had everything in the world to live for. But in their perception, they had nothing. It makes you think, doesn't it.

So anyway, I am not ashamed to say that I am very happy about 'Break My Heart' on Women of Substance radio!!!! You can listen to the station live here.

Remember, there is no joy in living your life in the future. The future may never come. What do you have TODAY? What is beautiful and simple and wonderful about today? A lot.

Song of the day: Break My Heart by me

"When you realize how perfect everything is you will tilt your head back and laugh at the sky." -Buddha