I'm a leavin on a Jet Plane...to Beantown!
Good Morning lil kitty witty,
I’m talkin sweet cuz I need some comfort. I’m sicky wicky. Yesterday was spent mostly curled up on the couch moaning - fever, hot flashes, sinus pressure, the works. I downed about a million mgs of Vitamin C - drank 400 cups of ginger tea - and laid around. I’m thinking it was a good idea, because I feel a fraction better today. Thank God, because I’m about to get on a plane to Boston in a few hours!
Isn’t life a bitch sometimes? You have a trip you look forward to for weeks, family and friends you can’t wait to see - you have these visions of laughter and gaiety - all in hopes that you will be greeted like a returning war hero, blah blah blah. Then God goes, ha! - wablam - you’re sick. Try that on for size! I guess you gotta roll with it. To be honest there is no place I would rather be sick than at my Mother’s house, and that is where I’m going - so I guess the universe knows best.
I do have to sing this week tho - a lot. I am singing at my good friend’s wedding on Saturday with Dave Aaronoff. I’m excited about this. First of all, I’m excited for Katie and Manny who love each other and are about to embark on the one adventure that I am too chicken shit to go anywhere near. Secondly, Dave and I are singing a few songs during the ceremony with some other talented allstars - then we will be providing the cocktail entertainment for the evening. I love singing with dave and it’s been awhile and I’m just ready! PLUS I bought a dress. You know I had to. It’s fun and hip and goes divinely with the new bangs - I can’t explain how a dress would ‘go with’ bangs, but you’ll know what I mean when you see it. I’m sure it will be a grand evening - and hopefully my voice is back to it’s healthy state by then.
Here is the thing about returning home - especially at this stage in the game - it’s a little bittersweet. There is a lot going on out here in California and I am starting to really love my life and get some music going and meeting interesting, awesome people - it’s all good. The adventure has pretty much hurled itself into reality.
But you know, it’s not exactly easy - and sometimes it’s exhausting. Just the general newness and the fact that every day you could be doing something to make your dreams come true. That’s a new concept for me. The pressure is high and a lot of the relationships are new and based on this ‘new me.’ That one is hard to explain. But many people I meet out here might as well assume that I have been trying to be a professional singer/songwriter for YEARS. For all they know I have had bangs for YEARS. haha. You know what I’m saying. They don’t know the story - they don’t know the ‘old you’. So a part of that is good and great! It gives you the freedom to express yourself in a totally new way - you have no old standards or bad habits to live up to - so you can create your life anew! It’s fabulous. But if there is ever a time that you need to breathe or relax or go back to before or just not be new and fabulous for a little bit - there are not many places to indulge this relaxation in. BUT at home! Sweet sweet home. Hell, you don’t even need to TALK and people love you. You could wear a paper bag over your head and lay on a couch the whole time and your closest friends and family would STILL love the shit out of you. I think that is fabulous and so wonderful and something to be so thankful for. And I am SO GRATEFUL to have it in my life. I know that this adventure is JUST starting. Chances are it is going to take me all over the world. There will always be new and there will always be more surface type relationships in this business - but I’m really glad that I KNOW in my heart where home is. It’s where your family and your friends are. It’s where love is. And sometimes - if your lucky - you can find that inside your heart - with God - or by a tree- or the ocean. I have had a lot of ‘homey’ type moments here in CA. They have kept me strong and kept me going. My spiritual home is with me always. But you better believe I am psyched as shit to be getting on a plane today to visit my physical home. Boston - here I come.
The bitterswet part is that I need to be here in CA. I want to be here. I love it here. So I will go and see my people and come back here. I hope it isn't sad. I hope it basically fills me up so I can come back here stronger than ever. I hope it basically just reminds me of where I've been and where I belong and where I"m going. And I hope we have fun.
Ok, time for the song and quote:
Leaving on a Jet Plane - Peter, Paul and Mary (looks like John Denver is in this vid too. Cute.)
The ache for home lives in all of us, the safe place where we can go as we are and not be questioned. - Maya Angelou